A Self – Love Journey of an author
I’m here to fall passionately in love with myself because I realiseI’m worth it! It took me 30 years to recognise myself and speak up for myself. Life buries a woman beneath a tangled web of home, spouse, family, children, cooking, cleaning, and washing. Most of the time, she is buried beneath the pile. Nobody sees her until she adds a little extra salt to the gravy or when the stain on his shirt hasn’t vanished . People are oblivious to her presence when the house is clean, the meal is delicious, and everything runs well.She is the pillar of the family but she stands there, just bearing all the burdens on her head, while people frolic around her totally unaware of her presence and strength.
So there I was, like an active stone, rolling all over but my heart was crushed in the melee. I never regretted doing everything for my family, but I regretted doing nothing for myself. I looked at myself in the mirror and what I saw was appalling! A worn out, exhausted, pale bag of rags. I was shocked. This is not me! Tears rolled down my cheeks. As I crumpled to the floor crying, images of a bright, intelligent, talented girl flashed through my eyes. In my distant memory,flickered my dream of becoming a writer. I am a writer! Let me write!
That afternoon, when people were fed and things were cleaned, I took a sheet of paper and pen from my husband’s desk. I sat down to write. My fingers ached as I gripped the pen. My writing was illegible. It was like a doctor ‘s prescription ; unfathomable. Years of not holding a pen had taken a toll on the paper. And then…a loud voice asked for a cup of coffee and the pen and paper lay abandoned.
This is the story of many women. They are conditioned to neglect themselves ; conditioned to focus on others. Years and years of this conditioning yields a lump in the throat one day and that’s when she realises she is lost. Bitterness, disappointment, self- loathing – all these happen at once. The woman inside her surrenders to her ‘role’ but the life inside her begins to question.
Ladies! Learn to love yourself. Learn to prioritise yourself. Be there for everyone, but primarily be there for you! Let me speak to you… I wish someone had spoken to me earlier so please listen to what Iam going to say.
A woman gives, sacrifices, surrenders, absorbs but dreams softly and waits with a faint tinge of hope. Somewhere in that endless giving, she disappears. She is available for everyone but absent from her own life. She shows up with complete energy for others but shows up exhausted for herself. She convinces herself that her time will come. But it doesn’t. The truth is, the minute she abandons herself, no one rewards her; au contraire , people expect more from her .
Prioritising yourself is not about neglecting your family or your responsibilities. It is about refusing to erase yourself in the process.Your dreams are not an inconvenience. They were placed inside you for a specific reason. The impulse to create, talk, develop, study again, start anew, and grow is holy. When you neglect something for too long, it does not die. It develops into resentment. Into frustration. Into that realisation that “This isn’t the life I imagined.” You deserve better than survival mode.
Investing in your own professional skills, physical health, and personal fulfillment is far from an act of self-interest; it is a strategic expansion of your leadership. A woman who operates from a place of fulfillment does not offer the bare minimum; she leads from a position of abundance.
Start small. Protect one hour for yourself. Enrol in that course. Revive that idea. Say no without over-explaining. Speak your opinion without softening it.
Choose yourself — not once, but repeatedly.
I realised this and that’s when I wrote 2 books. Break Free- an account on Domestic Violence and Behind A Creeky Door – A collection of my poems.
At the moment, I am working on giving you all a 30 day Blueprint to Self – Love.
I wish to impact many women’s lives and make this life meaningful to those who want to break free from the shackles of conditioning.
Sometimes, you just need to voice out what you want. You may receive support from those around you! Then you can bloom like that beautiful sunflower, always bright, always happy. Own that sunflower! Own you! You are worth this and more!
—– Bhuvana Seshan